A Gross Error In Judgment!?? Or What Happens When You Turn Your Wife Loose Inside Your Airplane

It seemed like a good idea at the time.  A simple, straight-forward task.  Using the wife’s skills to complete a task and get her to have an “investment” in the airplane.  Ahh, but the best made plans of mice and men often gang awry as Robert Browning warned us!  Something simple, not too expensive, soon spun out of control.  Truly, a gross error in judgment.  Here is the story:

When we purchased RizAir1 it came with window tinting on the windows in the passenger cabin.  The problem was that it was automotive window tinting, and that type of tinting does not fare well on aircraft Plexiglas.  It was wrinkled, starting to crack, was not functioning well, and it detracted from the appearance of the airplane.  Easy fix.  The folks at Just Plane Tint (www.justplanetint.com/home) sell custom cut tinting which fits tightly to the window, but which can be taken off and on as needed.  Peel off the old stuff, use the Plane Tint tracing paper, mark the paper as instructed, ship it off, and problem solved!  But, it, unfortunately, did not end there.  This turned out to be just the beginning.

After researching how best to remove car window tinting, we settled on the “steam” method.  We would use my wife’s steamer which is made to steam the wrinkles out of clothes. It would do great at steaming off the tinting.  Off to the airport we go, steamer in tow.

We arrive at the airport.  Fill the water bin of the steamer with distilled water, pull the airplane out in front of the hangar, fire up the generator, and plug in the steamer. Everything is going according to plan so far.  With a little effort and a few minor steam burns, the old window tinting is peeled off.

 

Step one is complete.

Next is tracing the outline of each window to create a template for the folks at Plane Tint.  The bride is the one to accomplish this task due to her superior fine motor skills, attention to detail, and patience with such things.

 

There is a reason we marry opposites – we need the different personalities to make us one whole.  As the pictures show, she completed the assigned task with precision.  I got out of the way and began to start a long overdue project: cleaning the belly of the airplane.

After 36 years one would expect that I would have learned to not leave her alone with something like this; especially where she has the chance to start thinking and dreaming.  This is the point where things started to go downhill and spin out of control.

Over lunch at the airport restaurant the first signs of trouble started bubbling up.  The interior side-panels of the airplane were “icky” or “yucky” (sorry I cannot remember which of these two words was used) and needed to be fixed or changed.  They were frayed here and faded there. The carpet might be serviceable.  We would need to change the colors.  Etc. Etc. Etc.

 

Oh NO!   The monster has awakened!

Back to the airplane after lunch.  For four hours I work on the belly of the airplane while colors are compared based upon hasty internet research using a computer tablet we had with us.  Periodically, I would have to squirm out from under the plane to come look at a color displayed on the tablet and offer an opinion as to how it looked (like my opinion mattered anyway), and then sneaking back under the plane to escape.

At long last a tentative decision is reached!  Yay!  RizAir1 is put back into the barn and away to home we go.  Alas, that is not end!  She engages in hours upon hours of internet research to confirm color combinations, fabric availability, and, oh no, now the carpet.

Guess what?  Carpet samples previously ordered months ago are grabbed for comparison.  Back to the airport on Sunday afternoon for more color comparing and contrasting.  More hours under the belly of the airplane.  More and more and more.

 

The work continues.  Phone calls to a mutual client (my wife is a CPA) who does upholstery and interiors on boats and cars.  And, yes, she has been to training on aircraft work.  Color samples are made available.  Review continues.  Trips to the airplane to hold up swatches of fabric for consideration.  Being asked opinions about shades of color where I could not really see a distinction and then receiving the explanation about how those color swatches were significantly different and why.  What have I done???  Colors picked.  Yay?

Back to the house.  Calls to the upholstery lady.  Now not sure of the colors.  Her daughter has a day neutral light?  That would help?  She can meet us at 5 p.m. on Monday?  And, back we go to the airport.

God bless this young lady!  In five minutes, without using the fancy light, she had picked the colors, the bride was happy, and we were done.  I wanted to kiss that young lady, but there might have been multiple objections.

The upholstery folks will order the material for the side-panels.  We will order the carpet.  Out of all this mess, at last, came a good deal.  An airplane carpet seller had a custom cut Piper Lance II carpet already in the warehouse because the customer had sold his airplane prior taking the carpet.  Half-price if we would take it.  It was tan instead of brown, but it matched the planned color scheme, and, yes, we would take it.  Phase 1 is complete!!!

So I know what you are thinking, Phase 2 ought to be a snap, right?  Uh – – – No!

I have been told that one should never pray for patience because the Lord will send you numerous things that will try your patience in answer to your prayer.  Sort of learning by doing.

I didn’t recall any prayers for patience, but I sure had to learn it with this interior work stuff.

Guess who got left with managing 90 percent of the actual work?   I “got” to make arrangements with the maintenance hangar to allow the work to be conducted there.  I “got” to coordinate with the makeover folks.  I “got” to review material arrival dates.  I “got” to handle the coordination of work with the material delivery, with the hangar availability, and within a time schedule because of a long-distance trip coming up.

Airplanes are not cars or boats.  Particular care must accompany both disassembly and reassembly.  FAA approved materials must be used.  Licensed mechanics must supervise and approve.  AND it always takes a lot longer than anticipated.

Poor RizAir1 – stripped of all dignity.  Sitting there with her insides buck naked for the whole world to see!   But when we are done, will she be ready for the prom! (EAA Airventure 2019 – Oshkosh, Wisconsin.)  The Cherokees to Oshkosh dance is coming up and we want her to look her best! (At least that is what I was informed was the case!)

 

The prep work takes a long time.  Masking the interior seemed like it took a week, but Karen is particular and there was no chance of overspray on anything.  She then cleaned the plastic parts to be painted three times!  Then more preparation, and finally, using a very precise tool the plastic trim was spray painted so it all looked identical.  It looks like the plastic was made that color.

 

Off to the upholstery shop for sewing go the side panels.  New material is being sewn onto the backboard where the old cloth is being replaced.  The old material serves as a pattern for the new.  This takes a while.

The departure date for the trip to the Cherokee formation flying training session creeps closer and closer, and still RizAir 1 is sitting there without her new duds.  Then the panels are finished; then they are not.  Problems with the carpet as cut by the supplier not being exact in some areas.  Trying to put it all back together as launch date approaches – some things will just have to be done when we get back.  The upholstery folks work until midnight two nights before the trip to get it put back together – still trying to get ‘er done on Thursday before a Friday morning dawn launch for Des Moines, Iowa to drop the bride off at eldest son’s location(and, more importantly, the grandkids), followed by a leg to Jefferson City, Missouri for the formation flying session.

Tick-tock. The witching hour approaches.

But then a reprieve for the workers – At approximately 4 p.m. on Thursday, the formation flying training session I was to attend as a prerequisite to Cherokees to Oshkosh was called off on account of a forecast of severe thunderstorms the day of the training.  Trip scrubbed for another day.

So the items that still needed work are removed from the plane.  (Karen and her crew are perfectionist and the work quality is outstanding.) Extra carpet has been ordered to deal with some of the carpet issues.  Anticipated completion, Wednesday after the scheduled departure date – one week late.

More issues with the interior.  Admittedly frustration was building.  But there was a moment of sweet retribution.

The new window trim was tough to put in because of how tight the panels were against the fuselage or windows.  It was a job that took patience, fine motor skills, and bulldog determination.  Who to call to help Karen?  You guessed it, she who started all this mess – the bride!

I give the two of them credit; they would not quit for nothing.  It took hours to get that trim in.  I would have busted out a window or two in the meantime, but the two ladies got it done, and it looks great.

Done! Late, but done.  Four weeks.  And, boy, does she look good. (What is that country song about “Waitin’ on a Woman”?).

Cost of all of this?  I don’t even want to know!   I will let my CPA wife and Karen work out those details.  I don’t want sticker shock to sour my attitude every time I look at the new interior.  There are times when ignorance is truly bliss, and this is one of those times.

Don’t say you were not warned about how these kinds of things happen when you turn your wife loose inside your airplane! An ounce of prevention and all that!

 

Clear skies and tailwinds.

 

Gary Risley

June 9, 2019

RizAir Blog 12